i'm wary of new year's resolutions like i'm wary of promises.
-D*sire
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Bits and Pieces
A few random tidbits from the evening spent with my best friend who's been my best friend since... well... ever. She and I have been best friends ever since sixth grade and even before.
Even though I always drag my feet going, I'm never sorry I went.
It's so easy to fall back into old times. I mean.. we went from scrawny unsure kids into full blown legal drinking adults together!
We've both changed but not so much that we lose that common background and shared connection.
She's still the same crazy 6th grader that put on the show with "Nancy" and "George" in Hotel California and the same girl that put my makeup on for prom sitting at her wobbly kitchen table and the same girl that calls me late at night in my dorm room to talk about all kinds of things.
However, I always end up the listener and watcher (and that's true across the board in most of my conversations). And while I let that happen, I come out of it feeling that I missed something. I wonder when I'll meet someone that doesn't leave me feeling that small bit of empty after talking to them (ie being talked at).
I really do enjoy a good conversation. I love finding out what's going on inside other people's heads. I love sifting through all kinds of overflow of their mind and being surprised at finding something that I have in mine or something that's so different from me that I would have never dreamed it into existence.
-D*sire
Even though I always drag my feet going, I'm never sorry I went.
It's so easy to fall back into old times. I mean.. we went from scrawny unsure kids into full blown legal drinking adults together!
We've both changed but not so much that we lose that common background and shared connection.
She's still the same crazy 6th grader that put on the show with "Nancy" and "George" in Hotel California and the same girl that put my makeup on for prom sitting at her wobbly kitchen table and the same girl that calls me late at night in my dorm room to talk about all kinds of things.
However, I always end up the listener and watcher (and that's true across the board in most of my conversations). And while I let that happen, I come out of it feeling that I missed something. I wonder when I'll meet someone that doesn't leave me feeling that small bit of empty after talking to them (ie being talked at).
I really do enjoy a good conversation. I love finding out what's going on inside other people's heads. I love sifting through all kinds of overflow of their mind and being surprised at finding something that I have in mine or something that's so different from me that I would have never dreamed it into existence.
-D*sire
Monday, December 29, 2008
Rachel's Psalm
Let me begin by saying this is not mine, although it'd be awesome if it were. I really like it, so I thought I'd share it with you. Give it a ponder.
A wandering heart within me dwells,
Apt to gaze afar from Thee.
Lascivious want builds and wells,
To steer this ship from Calvary.
Far off course, tossed by waves
This vessel battered by trials.
Apathy replaces former craves,
Acceptance replaced by denials.
O bright Star, guide my path
Lead me not out to sea.
O Compass of my staff,
Rein this ship back to Thee.
For I cannot bear this solace,
Hell apart from Thy presence.
Emptiness, greed, envy and malice
This migrant rewards as presents.
I want to long after You,
I feel You oh so near.
But this world confuses what’s true
With lies my flesh holds dear.
My thoughts scatter from your Word
And embrace the sordid and sundry.
I forget that which I had heard
To be left in this desolate quandary.
As You promised, forsake me not
Though I so willingly fall awry.
Though Thy truths my heart forgot,
Leave me not in sin to die.
For Thou hast given Thine self as man
Crucified for no crime of Thine own.
That I may one day before You stand
As untarnished as Your throne.
How undeserving and wretched am I,
How depraved and vile.
To audaciously scorn and deny
This gift so unselfish and worthwhile.
How do I reconcile this conflict within?
Oh, my heart cries out in despair!
The more I seek you, the more I see sin!
Oh, save me from this devilish snare!
I yearn to be formed into a woman of You
and fulfill the desires of Your heart.
Yet the further I delve into this Truth
The further from it I seem to depart.
Why must I wander? Why must I stray?
My true self desires to conform!
Yet the world is overbearing my heart each day
Casting this ship into the storm.
-D*sire
A wandering heart within me dwells,
Apt to gaze afar from Thee.
Lascivious want builds and wells,
To steer this ship from Calvary.
Far off course, tossed by waves
This vessel battered by trials.
Apathy replaces former craves,
Acceptance replaced by denials.
O bright Star, guide my path
Lead me not out to sea.
O Compass of my staff,
Rein this ship back to Thee.
For I cannot bear this solace,
Hell apart from Thy presence.
Emptiness, greed, envy and malice
This migrant rewards as presents.
I want to long after You,
I feel You oh so near.
But this world confuses what’s true
With lies my flesh holds dear.
My thoughts scatter from your Word
And embrace the sordid and sundry.
I forget that which I had heard
To be left in this desolate quandary.
As You promised, forsake me not
Though I so willingly fall awry.
Though Thy truths my heart forgot,
Leave me not in sin to die.
For Thou hast given Thine self as man
Crucified for no crime of Thine own.
That I may one day before You stand
As untarnished as Your throne.
How undeserving and wretched am I,
How depraved and vile.
To audaciously scorn and deny
This gift so unselfish and worthwhile.
How do I reconcile this conflict within?
Oh, my heart cries out in despair!
The more I seek you, the more I see sin!
Oh, save me from this devilish snare!
I yearn to be formed into a woman of You
and fulfill the desires of Your heart.
Yet the further I delve into this Truth
The further from it I seem to depart.
Why must I wander? Why must I stray?
My true self desires to conform!
Yet the world is overbearing my heart each day
Casting this ship into the storm.
-D*sire
Memery Lain
HAHA. So.... I was going through old stuff, looking for something. But, as is always the case, I got distracted but all the other stuff in my "keep" stashes... So here's a story that I wrote when I was little. I don't know how old I was, but I was young enough to misspell stuff--maybe 2nd grade....
okay, just found a date: 1996. I'd have been 9. That's probably 4th grade. So I apparently sucked at spelling far longer than I thought. Annnnnyways, here's the story (wish you could see the scratchy unsteady concentrated handwriting, but you'll just have to imagine).
Eleven-year-old Monica Miller was going to be the worlds best detective when she grew up. Her neighbor, Ms. Mishane was in her 60's. She said that getting an erly start on life was importent. At first Monica didn't know what this meant. She was only 7 when Ms. Mishane said this. Every night before Monica went to the sleep she would think about what that meant untill she finally figured it out. From that day on she was called NICA THE SPY. Nica was a nickname her friend Sandra Casey called her. Sandra wanted to be a docter when she grew up. Now Nica had already filled up ten notebooks. Nica every day after school would go on her spy rootine. Her spy rootine went this this. First the market. Then the fish store. Then the dairy and the meat store. Last but definitly not least 34th street. There were nine hoses to spy on. Nica's favorite house was old Mrs. Sadie's house. She had servents and money. people say she steels the money from banks and stuff. There was always something going on there. That's why Nica likes it so much.
And that is the unfinished story of Nica the Spy--forever lost in the mind of a fourth grader. Haha. You probably didn't get as much enjoyment from that as I did; however, it made me laugh, so I decided to share it with you.
Note: This was the year I was Harriet the Spy for Halloween. ☺
-D*sire
okay, just found a date: 1996. I'd have been 9. That's probably 4th grade. So I apparently sucked at spelling far longer than I thought. Annnnnyways, here's the story (wish you could see the scratchy unsteady concentrated handwriting, but you'll just have to imagine).
Eleven-year-old Monica Miller was going to be the worlds best detective when she grew up. Her neighbor, Ms. Mishane was in her 60's. She said that getting an erly start on life was importent. At first Monica didn't know what this meant. She was only 7 when Ms. Mishane said this. Every night before Monica went to the sleep she would think about what that meant untill she finally figured it out. From that day on she was called NICA THE SPY. Nica was a nickname her friend Sandra Casey called her. Sandra wanted to be a docter when she grew up. Now Nica had already filled up ten notebooks. Nica every day after school would go on her spy rootine. Her spy rootine went this this. First the market. Then the fish store. Then the dairy and the meat store. Last but definitly not least 34th street. There were nine hoses to spy on. Nica's favorite house was old Mrs. Sadie's house. She had servents and money. people say she steels the money from banks and stuff. There was always something going on there. That's why Nica likes it so much.
And that is the unfinished story of Nica the Spy--forever lost in the mind of a fourth grader. Haha. You probably didn't get as much enjoyment from that as I did; however, it made me laugh, so I decided to share it with you.
Note: This was the year I was Harriet the Spy for Halloween. ☺
-D*sire
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
A Message
I just want to say thank you.
This is rather random but i wanted to say thanks because I don't always think I say it enough to the people who deserve it. When you're too busy trying to make sure that everyone's happy, you forget that those same people are the reason you run back to TBPW after some really really boring classes.
So thanks. I don't want to say bye yet, but i know that it's coming soon. It coming up in conversation and silences our once nostalgic faces, smiling in remembrance of some past joke or story. And then I tell Anh that she can come to the Death Cab concert next year, and we both go silent...
I can't handle that. I don't want to either.
So thanks you all for being you, and I know you don't all have blogs but I really love my roommates so much! And Kim, oh Kim, just being herself is everything that makes me smile and laugh.
Samwise, my dear hobbity friend (don't tell I said that or she'll get mad!), she will always be like the real Sam, always there, strong and yet funny and always smiling.
Bich, haha she is so giving. The most generous person I know.
And yes, Peter counts too as one of 'em! If you don't know him, you better because he is so very nice! (and i might add, has great taste in music, from my biased opinion)
Cheryl, my artsy and enigmatic friend, I will always want to know more about you and wish you could show the world it through film.
And Kristen, one of the strongest people I've ever met, YES you are AWESOME!, I hope that we will always be pretty much roomies no matter what kind of telepathy people insinuate is present!
And Anh, oh Anh, you are so sweet and just adorable! I wish you could stay longer and keep us all smiling!
And Allison, so bubbly! you are wonderful and I'm glad when you come over. You never let anything keep you down, ever. I'm watching out for you because I care! (and I won't get worried! I promise!)
To Brian, my friend who is the best editor in the DFW area, thank you for reading my papers and tolerating my presence since sophomore year! Seriously, thanks.
And Don, who is always willing to do anything to make someone happy, you are the bomb! I hope you get to greet the world with your caring attitude!
And even Quanny-Quan, you are cool. Outspoken, but cool. You are great and an awesome addition to the upstairs apartment and to its fridge. hehe Your arguing, although frustrating at times, reminds me of debates that I enjoy at home with my dad. so thanks. And no, you're really not as bad as we all joke about you being, sometimes. maybe. no really I'm kidding again.
Just because I'm always trying to be nice doesn't mean that what I say isn't any less true.
I love you all.
-JChoc, yo =)
This is rather random but i wanted to say thanks because I don't always think I say it enough to the people who deserve it. When you're too busy trying to make sure that everyone's happy, you forget that those same people are the reason you run back to TBPW after some really really boring classes.
So thanks. I don't want to say bye yet, but i know that it's coming soon. It coming up in conversation and silences our once nostalgic faces, smiling in remembrance of some past joke or story. And then I tell Anh that she can come to the Death Cab concert next year, and we both go silent...
I can't handle that. I don't want to either.
So thanks you all for being you, and I know you don't all have blogs but I really love my roommates so much! And Kim, oh Kim, just being herself is everything that makes me smile and laugh.
Samwise, my dear hobbity friend (don't tell I said that or she'll get mad!), she will always be like the real Sam, always there, strong and yet funny and always smiling.
Bich, haha she is so giving. The most generous person I know.
And yes, Peter counts too as one of 'em! If you don't know him, you better because he is so very nice! (and i might add, has great taste in music, from my biased opinion)
Cheryl, my artsy and enigmatic friend, I will always want to know more about you and wish you could show the world it through film.
And Kristen, one of the strongest people I've ever met, YES you are AWESOME!, I hope that we will always be pretty much roomies no matter what kind of telepathy people insinuate is present!
And Anh, oh Anh, you are so sweet and just adorable! I wish you could stay longer and keep us all smiling!
And Allison, so bubbly! you are wonderful and I'm glad when you come over. You never let anything keep you down, ever. I'm watching out for you because I care! (and I won't get worried! I promise!)
To Brian, my friend who is the best editor in the DFW area, thank you for reading my papers and tolerating my presence since sophomore year! Seriously, thanks.
And Don, who is always willing to do anything to make someone happy, you are the bomb! I hope you get to greet the world with your caring attitude!
And even Quanny-Quan, you are cool. Outspoken, but cool. You are great and an awesome addition to the upstairs apartment and to its fridge. hehe Your arguing, although frustrating at times, reminds me of debates that I enjoy at home with my dad. so thanks. And no, you're really not as bad as we all joke about you being, sometimes. maybe. no really I'm kidding again.
Just because I'm always trying to be nice doesn't mean that what I say isn't any less true.
I love you all.
-JChoc, yo =)
Subtleties
Okay... So.
Death Cab/Snow Patrol concert.
Awesome.
That sums it up nicely.
But besides that. I was sitting there next to Cheryl and Jamella who were screaming and writhing in their seats and I was thinking about things.
I express my happiness differently than others. I was real quiet and still--smile unable to leave my face. Very intent upon the stage. I was taking it all in--like I was grabbing all the sights and the sounds and shoving them in so I could hang on to all of them. But it must have looked like I was bored or not having a good time to outsiders. Which is the complete opposite of reality. It was SO awesome. Still, if I think about it or trying to describe it, I just get real still and a genuine smile creeps up.
I've always been bothered by something that people do while watching movies (in particular my best friend). She'll react viscerally to everything that happens. So if there's a make-you-jump part she'll always jump and sometimes grab onto things. It's hard to explain why it bothers me. Cuz what I just described doesn't capture it. But it's that sort of thing. She gets really into it. She'll worry about them falling or getting caught by the bad guys. I'll hear gasps and see her tensing up. While I just sit and take it all in--very detached like.
I think this is the same sort of thing. I guess I detach everything but my eyes/ears and brain and just soak it all in to mull it over. And when other people don't turn off the other things, it bothers me (but, just to clarify: Jam and Cheryl did not bother me last night, that comment was more directed towards my best friend's antics). And from the outside my manner seems to indicate apathy or boredom. But it's the smile and the eyes that'll give it away. This is a different smile than my polite I-AM-bored-but-I-don't-want-to-make-you-feel-bad smile.
The truth is in the sublteties.
D*sire
Death Cab/Snow Patrol concert.
Awesome.
That sums it up nicely.
But besides that. I was sitting there next to Cheryl and Jamella who were screaming and writhing in their seats and I was thinking about things.
I express my happiness differently than others. I was real quiet and still--smile unable to leave my face. Very intent upon the stage. I was taking it all in--like I was grabbing all the sights and the sounds and shoving them in so I could hang on to all of them. But it must have looked like I was bored or not having a good time to outsiders. Which is the complete opposite of reality. It was SO awesome. Still, if I think about it or trying to describe it, I just get real still and a genuine smile creeps up.
I've always been bothered by something that people do while watching movies (in particular my best friend). She'll react viscerally to everything that happens. So if there's a make-you-jump part she'll always jump and sometimes grab onto things. It's hard to explain why it bothers me. Cuz what I just described doesn't capture it. But it's that sort of thing. She gets really into it. She'll worry about them falling or getting caught by the bad guys. I'll hear gasps and see her tensing up. While I just sit and take it all in--very detached like.
I think this is the same sort of thing. I guess I detach everything but my eyes/ears and brain and just soak it all in to mull it over. And when other people don't turn off the other things, it bothers me (but, just to clarify: Jam and Cheryl did not bother me last night, that comment was more directed towards my best friend's antics). And from the outside my manner seems to indicate apathy or boredom. But it's the smile and the eyes that'll give it away. This is a different smile than my polite I-AM-bored-but-I-don't-want-to-make-you-feel-bad smile.
The truth is in the sublteties.
D*sire
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
